


For Us a Beginning

by kangelique



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Best Friends, F/M, Fresh Start, Frustration, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Killian is a baker, Kissing, Love Confessions, Musical Instruments, New Year's Eve, Piano, Regina is a manager, Singer Emma Swan, a future fic but one shot will do right now, angst but not much, brief talk of beginning, want to becoming something more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-29 15:56:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17206394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kangelique/pseuds/kangelique
Summary: Emma Swan is feeling pressured to finish a new song in time for New Years Eve. Enter Killian Jones, baker and best friend who comes in to remind her to sing from the heart. One heart talk leads to another and soon lips are fusing. Emma will realize it's time to stop being afraid and begin 2019 with the promise of a fresh start and the beginning of something more with the love of her life.





	For Us a Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So I actually play the flute and am on my way to learning to play the guitar and then I found out that Jennifer Morrison likes to play the piano, so that's where all this instrument got involved in the one shot. Anyway hope you like it and Happy New Year!

**For Us a Beginning:**

Emma leaned back slightly in her seat, arms already extended and fingers hovering over the designated keys. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, taking a second to simply hold the air before she finally released it into the space in front of her, and with it, let her hands fall to the cold black and white keys that didn't match with the irritating fire making itself known at the pads of her fingers when they came in contact.

The coldness of the keys surprised her and caused her to momentarily falter, but she didn't open her eyes because opening her eyes meant giving up and Emma was done giving up. A siren blared in the distance and she winced when it intercepted with the sound -the insecure voice inside her telling her what did it matter when the sound was already strained and broken in itself. The notes all wrong and the lyrics for this song too far from the truth. The beautiful sound didn't envelope her as it always did, she didn't feel the tickle of the vibrations through her skin when she got to the upbeat part, and it didn't stir a single emotion within her. It didn't swallow her up. But Emma kept on playing, forced herself to through this because then maybe she would get past this, and then she DID hit the wrong key, her fingers getting mixed up. Emma shook her head and the crease formed between her eyebrows. She pressed on but there was no losing herself. She opened her mouth and braced herself to sing the words that didn't come from the heart when-

"Honey I'm homeee!" called out the much too cheery voice of Killian Jones and the distinct sound of her front door closing shut, effectively breaking the bubble she'd managed to encircle her and the music into. It burst and she slumped forward, letting her head fall into the small case of her arms and still stubbornly unwilling to open her eyes, intent on keeping herself in the dark.

"Sweetheart,  _guess_ what flavor you will be trying today..." he trailed off and his footsteps abruptly stopped, no doubt taking in her defeated form. "Swan?"

"I'm fine," was her automatic response. For a second she actually believed it and then her voice wobbled at the end and nope. What made her feel even more crappy was knowing he'd just heard that and was witnessing it a whole few feet away. Emma wanted to go to him and have him take her in his arms, hold her close and never stop feeling his warmth that never failed to bring her comfort and...that word she wouldn't say yet. But she didn't want comfort, she wanted to dwell in her misery and repeat to herself a thousand times what a failure she was.

_But isn't that who you are, Emma? A failure at everything else and now a failure at this too._

"No," he told her softly and firmly at the same time. The footsteps had instantly turned quiet when they started up again, his whole demeanor changing. He silently took a seat next to her, and despite the embarrassing mess she was right now, she was relieved by his presence. Emma had long since learned that he could do that, make her feel okay by simply being here. With her. That sure as hell hadn't been an easy feat at first when their friendship was just beginning, but he'd proved to her again and again that he was willing to sit with her in the dark. Sometimes literally. "Don't refuse to actknowledge it, Emma. You know that never does you favors, love."

"What are you now, my therapist?" she teased but her heart wasn't in it and it fell flat.

"A devilishly handsome one at that!" he announced brightly and Emma could imagine that damn grin he was very likely sporting perfectly.

She shook her head but was smiling now. "I'm not about to feed your ego." It was possible he could see the smile because her hair was pulled up in a ponytail and nothing was covering the sides of her face -which is what allowed him to caress her cheek, knuckles light on her skin and his own way of telling her to look up.

"Well that's alright, darling," he bumped her shoulder. "You can feed my ego some other day. Simply a rain check on your schedule, aye? Instead I'd like to know about you and what's got my beautiful Swan so vexed -Tell me, love, will I need to beat this piano for you?"

Her heart skipped at the 'my'. Mine, he said. She was his. He was hers. It all fell so naturally from his lips that it was almost a torment to be together but not together, both of them with these obvious feelings that neither of them spoke out loud. But they should. Emma knew Killian was waiting for her to decide because he'd already declared himself at her feet and told her that if friendship was all she desired between them then friendship it would be. But she wanted more. When they were taking a late night stroll because she was having trouble coming up with lyrics and he was too stressed to bake properly, and his hand accidentally brushed hers or her hand accidentally brushed his, she wanted more. Or when she fell asleep on the couch from so much fatigue and demands she had to meet, and he carried her to her bed and laid her down and brought the covers up to her chin, she wanted more than the hovering of his lips above her cheek as he whispered 'Goodnight'.

"No," she snorted. "That cost way too much money on my account to let you do that. I'd have to eat all the cupcakes you have right now to get even," she suggests innocently enough, but Killian takes such great care about her vitamins and minerals that it's almost annoying if he wasn't such a good baker and she a sucker for anything sweet that always randomly appears in her apartment -fate would even say that in the best of times too. Emma likes it though. She always knows it's from him, and when she casually asked about it once, he just smiled.

"Nice try, love, but I'm afraid they will have to be saved for your more starving companions back at set. Whereas you," he poked her stomach, eliciting a small giggle. "get to have a full out  _exquisite_ dinner prepared by yours truly."

She smiled but her brows furrowed. The reminder of her failure came in waves, each hitting her harder than the last and in less than a minute she found herself clenching her eyes shut, extra extra sure they wouldn't open. "But I'm the one dying here," she muttered bitterly and heaved a sigh. "I'm the one who can't finish this stupid song. I don't know what's wrong with me, Killian."

"Merely by your words, Swan, I can tell you're still not the least bit happy about this. But I've heard you play it, Emma," he pressed on, putting a gentle hand on her back. Her hunched form seemed to relax down. "and I don't think your problem is with the music, but with..." he trailed off and somehow this made her angry.

"What, me?" she snapped but didn't lift up her head. "Myself, you think I'm the problem here?!" the frustation was intoxicating and tears quickly pooled behind her eyelids. Emma shook her head as if to say 'No, you  _can't_ fall."

They were both quiet for a minute.

"You can open your eyes, sweetheart."

"No," she grit her teeth and was aware of how damn petulant she sounded. She hated herself for it but was else was left of her? "I can't."  _I won't._

"Emma..." carefully, a warm hand slipped under her chin, cupping it and then slowly tilting her head up with his thumb and index finger. She opened her eyes to blue ones staring back at her with all the love in the world. In that moment she wanted more, she wanted to tell him, finally confess and stop being scared of her own feelings and how much they physically  _ached_ for him. But instead she kept silent. Again. And yet it seemed that when he caught the first teardrop, her silence was loud and roaring. "Perhaps it's time to admit to yourself that this isn't coming from your heart."

If he only knew how much wasn't coming from your heart.

She didn't say anything for a long while -or what felt like a long while, possibly only a few seconds in truth. And he remained there, not offering anything more, but when his hand changed from cupping her chin to cupping her cheek, it was like he was saying a million things with that gesture. Finally Emma snapped into focus, "It's not supposed to come from the heart, Killian, it's supposed to make us money -or at least I know that's what Regina wants. And I'm supposed to have this done by tomorrow, in time for New Years, so it can gather thousands as my first single of 2019, I can't just go back on it now. Too much is riding on this for me to just...to just give up."

Killian frowned, "Screw Regina."

She smiled tiredly. "I wish it were that easy, but without her I am nothing in the music industry. I can't become, well I can't become anything without her support and I  _need_ her support, Killian. It's a miracle she even picked me in the first place, I can't just throw the best chance and probably the ONLY chance I will ever have, just like that and all because I can't complete this stupid song."

"Listen to me, Emma," he spoke so fiercely that it surprised her and made her glance back up again. He held her gaze, eyes never leaving hers when he said, "You are a brilliant and amazing woman all on your own. I knew you before the world did, and I know you now. You needn't fear that this will bring down everything you've worked so hard to create, because that's just it, darling, everything you have created is yours and no one -not even the Evil Queen of a manager that you have- can take that away, you understand?" he smiled and his eyes were tender in their next deliverance, "Sweetheart, YOU are the music. It flows through your veins and onto those fingertips that demand rest because of so much of yourself that you have given to this already. You must breathe, love. This can be a beginning, but there will always be more chances. You mustn't believe this is your last. There's more to come."

For a moment Emma was left speechless. Her eyes still glassy from what weighed on her. For a moment all she could do was stare at the man who had a gift with words and who she'd loved for some time now. So long it felt like an eternity and they were just there, stuck in this in between of should we or should we not. Except Emma was tired of the should we or should we not's and told him so when she leaned forward and captured his lips. 

The kiss was slow and sweet. He tasted of the cupcakes he had obviously baked earlier in the day and brought one for her, still sitting atop the piano's lid, patiently waiting. But Emma couldn't wait. She'd waited for too long and almost resisted the slowness of the kiss, wanting to rise the fire that had been brewing between and have him make her his. Instead she got lost in the way one hand held her face while the other wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer, so close that the gap was finally gone and her breasts were against his chest, his warmth encompassing her and pushing away the cold to soak his fire into her skin. Her own hands traveled up his arms and to snake around his neck where she tilted his head to gain better access to his mouth. His lips followed hers wherever she wanted and soon they were breaking apart for air. Slowly he brought her down so she could be on top, and she didn't waste a single minute capturing his lips again and again until they were swollen and bright pink. She loved the way his fingers tangled and sifted through her hair when he removed the band that kept her ponytail in place and let it fall around them like a curtain and a halo. She loved that he never once pulled away, even when they were both breathing heavily, he guided her back and that was as much action as she needed to kiss him again. He smiled against her mouth and whispered her name. She breathed his name, opening her eyes and meeting his sparkling ones. Emma rested her forehead on his when they were finished, and she knew there was no going back. But that was okay. She didn't want go back.

"Killian, I..." she trailed off.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I...thank you. Thank you for reminding me of who I am," she finally settled on saying and the disappointment briefly passed his features before he smiled up at her in assurance and genuine understanding. It wasn't what he truly wanted to hear, what they BOTH wanted to hear, but it would do. Some day she would be able to, and Emma sensed it would be soon. But for now, "Thank you for reminding me, and for helping me see that this new year could be a fresh start."

"Maybe for us too?" he whispered hopefully.

"No," she smiled and kissed him again. "For us It's a beginning."

 


End file.
